Is it really only noon??!?

We had a busy, busy weekend and what always suffers on weekends like that is the housework. The laundry is EVERYWHERE...some dirty, some clean and waiting to be folded, some folded and waiting to be put away. There are stacks of dishes in the sink (and on the counter) and we don't have a dishwasher so they all need to be washed and dried by hand (booo.) There are tiny landmines (read: toys) ALLLL over the living room. One of my sheer curtains is hanging awkwardly because my son tried to use it to rappel down the side of the wall. All the floors in the whole house need a good mopping and the rugs need vacuuming. You get the picture...

And we woke up today to rainy, chilly gloom outside. Sort of exciting considering my massive list of chores to undertake....who wants to be inside doing chores when the weather is gorgeous??

So I was up and at 'em by 8:15. By 9:15, barely anything was done at all...in fact, the mess was probably worse. Why??

Because (deep, dramatic inhale)...Addisyn threw a 30min tantrum about having a banana with her cereal rather than blueberries...and then about the banana being "too small" (sliced) rather than a "big one" (whole), PJ dumped the dog dishes out all over the floor, the dog got out of the backyard, Addisyn had a "potty accident" most likely to get back at me for ignoring her screaming, PJ climbed on top of the dining room table while I was cleaning fore mentioned "accident" and knocked over a vase of very dead roses, my next door neighbor brought the stupid dog back and proceeded to talk my ear off while Addisyn ran around half naked and PJ got into the refrigerator...

...and that was only one hours worth of activity. We've dealt with whinning, crying, pushing, multiple time-outs, arguements, books ripping, refusals of manners....

It's been just crazy all up until nap time at 12:15. Even while writing this, I've had to run up the stairs to discipline Addisyn for dumping as much stuff as she can find (her pillow and blankets, toys, clothes) and then climbing into PJ's crib...TWICE. I'm certain there is a direct correlation with the amount of vitamin D my children's' bodies produce from sunlight and their behavior. I'm praying they'll wake up refreshed and ready to start over.

Anyway, all that to say...there is still laundry and dishes everywhere and my floors are still embarrassingly unclean...unfortunately I've lost the ardor to tackle the undertaking. Someone please send some motivation my way!!! ...or just come over and clean for me? ;)

The Winds of Change.

They're blowing again, and trust me, I know a thing or two about change.

I'm pretty sure I've shared on here that we've moved 5 times in 2.5 years. Well, it seems we're gearing up to move again. Currently, we're renting a wonderful little house in a not-so-major city. It's right on the border between a nice neighborhood and a bad neighborhood, so we put up with some rough neighbors and their loud music and their cursing off their kids, and we've recently called the cops on them. And then last week, I was running (in the nice part of our neighborhood, actually) and some guys in a car started following me, yelling obscene things at me. They drove off but came back TWICE to follow me and yell some more. That was kind of the last straw. We feel like our time here is up.

I'm just so frustrated. I grew up in one general area my entire life. This is so foreign to me. I'm the kind of person that REQUIRES stability, and stability to me is digging roots into the ground, building relationships that last and staying put - all of which have been missing in my life the last 3 years. I'm SICK of moving!! I HATE moving!! I really want this next move to be semi-permenant, as in I don't want to even THINK about moving for at least 5 years....so we have to find somewhere condusive to that (i.e. good school district, 4 bedrooms, big back yard, safe neighborhood etc). I want to paint my walls, and I want to get a big dog, and I want to not have to worry where we are going to fit any subsequent children or if I'm going to be abducted while running. It's all I can think about, lately.

Tim's got an appoinment with our mortgage broker/realitor next Weds. We need favor.

I have...

...lost 10lbs in 6 weeks. yessssss!! I feel GREAT!! and i'm wondering why it took me so long to become re-dedicated to exercise after having my kids.

p.s. that is not a picture of me. Although I hope and expect my belly to look like that by the end of the year ;)

Happy Birthday, sweet Baby.

To my sweet baby-
Tomorrow is the day you were supposed to be born. My body is supposed to start getting ready to help get you out, and Daddy and I are supposed to jump in the car and drive to the hospital. I'm supposed to get in an ugly hospital gown and wait in intense pain for you to arrive...meanwhile, nervous and excited and anxious and thrilled. The doctor and nurses are supposed to come in, and at just the right moment, you're supposed make your first appearance! I'm supposed to hear a shrill little cry as the doctor's and nurses' faces light up. Daddy is supposed to tell me how beautiful you are.

And tomorrow, they're supposed to place you in my arms. But they're not going to. I'm not going to endure the excruciating pain to experience the intense joy like none other of seeing your sweet face tomorrow. There aren't going to be any happy celebrations as we announce you've arrived. No one is going to ask me what we're going to name you.

I don't know why you couldn't stay. I don't know why I couldn't say goodbye. I don't know why I was able to carry you in my belly long enough to love you or see you on an ultrasound or, even though I couldn't feel you move, feel your presence with me. It doesn't seem fair to me, but I'm not the author or the finisher of your life.

Most mommy's endure 9 loooong months in eager anticipation of meeting their little babies...your mommy is going to endure a lifetime. Someday I'll see you, meet you, hold you, kiss you. But in the meantime, my tears and my broken heart will remind me that you DID and DO exist and that we already have a bond.

I love you, baby. Forever and ever.
Mommy

82 degrees!!!!

We've had two of the most BEAUTIFUL days in a row up here!! 82 degrees and NO humidity! It's put me in a summery mood...i.e. I ordered a pair of cropped jeans and a cute summer shirt from AE.com this morning...and I just looked over the calendar. Now I understand I'm getting ahead of myself...cuz it's just not unheard of to get 3 ft of snow in April where we live...but we've got a BUSY summer!!

May 5th is our 3rd Anniversary...we don't have any plans yet.
Memorial Day weekend we're going to be in Philly with my family, and hopefully that'll include a trip to Sesame Place and/or down the Jersey shore.
In June, we're spending a weekend in Baltimore with my parents, brother and sister. We're going to an Orioles game and to the Science Museum (*random fact: I LOVE museums!).
In July, we're going on vacation - 1 week in Palm Beach, Fl!!!
In August, Tim is going to Chicago for a week for job training (making him more valuable to his company - score!) and the kids and I will be in Philly while he's away...again, hopefully including a trip to Sesame Place and/or the shore.

Whew!!! This will be the first summer since 2006 that I'm not pregnant or nursing...that's kind of a big deal too ;)

YAY SUMMER!!!!!!!